I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
