5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
