Yo dont text me then not text me
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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