Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
