Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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