I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
