The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
