Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
