it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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