...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
