apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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