it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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