She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
