i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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