He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
