Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
