It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
