she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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