Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
