Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
