Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize