I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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