i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
