I'll bet she douches with gravy.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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