I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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