Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
