So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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