so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
