Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
