she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I can feel your judgement through the phone
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
