Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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