Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
