Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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