And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
