ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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