do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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