Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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