u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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