oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
