I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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