Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
