bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
