Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
