"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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