This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
