OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
