you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
