you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
