chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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