I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
