Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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