I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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