Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
