a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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