party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
