Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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