I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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