So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
should my penis look like a turkey
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
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I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize