Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
